Eastwood Reverses Field, Endorses Local Bar Stool

In a shocking follow-up to his “empty chair” tirade, Clint Eastwood has announced that he will not endorse Mitt Romney, opting instead for a local bar stool housed at Cock ‘n Bull Pub in southern Tampa. “That bar stool truly represents what’s great about America,” said Eastwood, who was found wandering the streets, waiting for the local pharmacy to open. “Chair provides too much outside support, making people too dependent on its back. Chair is just fine with people leaning against it, but stool insists that people sit up straight on their own or fall backwards.” The 82 year old actor, writer, and director is no stranger to the political scene. In 2008, Eastwood was a staunch supporter of the stoplight on the corner of Colfax Avenue and Flagstone Drive in St. Paul, Minnesota (site of the 2008 RNC), which caused quite a bit of commotion within the Republican Party. “We were shocked and confused by his endorsement of the stoplight, given that it was government-built,” said Norm Coleman, former U.S. senator from Minnesota. “We were really pushing the ‘Maverick’ theme, and a candidate literally forged by the government would’ve undercut everything we were trying to build.” Though organizers of the RNC were surprised by the Eastwood stool endorsement, many within the party believe that the situation can easily be rectified. “The reason we brought Clint in to speak in the first place is because of his love for inanimate objects. It won’t be a big leap to get him back to endorsing Romney.”

~ by devineideas on August 31, 2012.